Hello, new friends. My name is Louise. I am a 40-something (closer to 50 actually) mother of 3 who juggles part-time freelance writing and volunteer work. I’m a great cook, but with five different palettes, a pescatarian, a wannabee vegetarian, a Mr. Picky, and two other diets I can’t recall, I choose to order in every night. Surprising to some, I have sought the support of a psychologist for the past decade, as the balancing act, as wonderful as it is, also leads to a great deal of anxiety. As you’ll see later, I faced this anxiety through multiple sessions with my therapist and the use of a great technique called visualization and guided imagery.
I have dedicated the past decade to calming myself down when the going gets tough, as it always does, in my delightfully crazy roles as mommy, employee, wife, and helper. I actually devote a great deal of time to taking care of myself. It’s an imperative to survival, and one that I take quite seriously (and one that I think many folks should!).
The nervousness that accompanies the incessant multi-tasking, has been a battle for me since college. It has also become more pronounced since the birth of my twins, 16 years ago. During a horribly stressful time, about a year after my third child was born, I was confronted with a verbally abusive boss. He was awful and caused me tremendous pain and agita.
I sat in my therapist’s office, and no matter how much we talked and she counseled me, session after session, I could not “get good.” The stress was unbearable, and despite the deep breaths, I was unable to breathe. It wasn’t a panic attack, but more of a constant state of terror and nerves. My therapist suggested that we try something different. She introduced me to this concept of Visualization and Guided Imagery as a way to cope with this great deal of anxiety. I was willing to try anything, as I had no choice.
If you’ve never been in therapy, you’ll find that the décor is not as glamorous as what you see on TV, but there is a couch and a sound machine, and it’s all quite nice. My therapist (she’s actually a psychologist, the big M.D.) instructed me in her soothing, ultra-calming voice, to sit or lay comfortably on the big squishy cushions. I do, as she says, appreciative of the break, and not having to talk anymore about my miserable boss.
I can’t reenact actually how she does it, but she says something to the effect of, “pretend you’re in a field,” and I envision endless wildflowers growing without a soul on the horizon. The therapist has me place myself in this utterly natural oasis, where I am to imagine myself “right here, right now,” and slowly and kindly allow each body part to fully relax against the pillows.
We start with the temples and eyelashes, and end up at my toes and heels. It’s like yoga but without all the exertion. It’s super tranquil. And you can mess up too. There is never any judgement. Your mind can wander (to stressful things like your mean boss), and it’s A-okay. You just gently correct yourself, and move on. These sessions can last from 10 minutes to 40, and regardless of the duration, I always feel a thousand times better in the end.
I find that I crave visualization and guided imagery regardless of my level of anxiety. I will be overcome with fatigue and desolation, and then, all of a sudden, I’m not. It makes me feel so very better afterwards, no matter what. When I leave my therapist’s office, I possess this overwhelmingly beautifully sense of lightness and calm. It’s a sensation that can be compared to walking on clouds. I feel so happy and at peace.
These sessions give me the perspective that I need. They remove me from the outer world, that miserable stressful one, and return me to the present, where anything is possible. When I’m feeling that awful, scary despair, I often forget that there is a way to get better, to feel normal again. I’ll have to put a sticky note on my bathroom mirrors that says “remember visualization and guided imagery!” It works every time.
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