My name is Spencer, and I’m a chef in my twenties living on the East Coast. As someone who has often felt lost, I’ve spent the last ten years devoted to meditation and the ancient truths that reveal themselves in stillness. I love to wander, make music, rock climb, and cook. I’ve encountered many challenges in my travels, but my meditation practice has been instrumental in my stability and personal growth.
Growing up in the Midwest, there wasn’t much spiritual variety. My family had experienced loss, disease, and conflict across generations. Although I was fortunate to discover the teachings of the Buddha early in life, it took a while for the seed to take root. After graduating, I worked as a pizza delivery driver and lived in a space that was more than adequate for my needs. Depression and anxiety replaced my sense of purpose and inner fire.
I did have a solid community of friends and reliable access to plant medicine of discernible quality. I was an all-day, every-day marijuana connoisseur and a dabbler in psychedelics, although LSD had always appealed to me. With an undemanding job and no long-term goals to anchor me, I could always find time to escape mundane existence and enter a world of wonder and splendor.
One night, while lying in bed, I let the acid work its magic while thumbing through Ram Dass’s Be Here Now. The passage “It’s All Just Happening” sparked a deep memory that resonated with me. From then on, every breath held a divine significance suffused with the Vital Life of Prana and the Peace of Being.
I sensed that the way to remain connected to this abiding peace was to ground myself in practice. The symptoms of my mental illness became tools and guides on the path. Through daily practice, life took on purpose and zeal, fueled by direct experience of Life and Being. My study of Zen meditation and the Diamond Cutter Wisdom of the Patriarchs became a passion, an insatiable quest for knowledge.
At first, the practice was unsteady, and focus came in spurts. The results were often discouragingly meager. However, dedication to the practice and the ko-an of life allowed me to travel far beyond the bounds of imagination. My depression, anxiety, and existential guilt became fuel for the dreams and manifestations of a renewed purpose.
I’m approaching thirty now, and the one constant in my life has been meditation, not drugs. The practice has become part of me, and every day, I express my gratitude as love for all of life. To anyone struggling or looking for growth, I recommend a daily, reliable meditation practice with great fervor.
Perennial Wisdom exists on the other side of sorrow and pain. What would otherwise bury us can buoy us. To meditate is to transmute – to activate your divinity and allow it to carry you to the light.
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