I was 28 years old when I became a mom for the first time, and 29 when I was diagnosed with postpartum rage. It’s a subset of postpartum anxiety and depression that manifests as being easily angry and to an extreme over little things. These could be day-to-day occurrences, like screaming because a baby is wiggling during a diaper change (personal example). I like to share this experience for other women suffering from postpartum depression and how a combination of psychotherapy and crystal therapy greatly helped me.
Like other postpartum mood disorders, it gets worse with lack of sleep. I was a stay at home parent with a husband frequently away for work for days at a time. It didn’t help either that my baby was exclusively breastfed. I also lived in a different state from my family which greatly impacted my support network, in a negative way. Basically I was alone with a preemie newborn I barely knew how to take care of — changing diapers, nursing, going to appointments 45 minutes away and trying to keep up on housework too all while healing from an emergency C-section.
It became too much to handle really quickly and my son was only four months old. I finally went to my doctor and admitted I needed help. It was fairly easy to get a referral to a therapist but I was terrified. Would they say I was a bad mom and try to take my son away? Would this hurt my job prospects in the childcare field? Was I going to end up on so many medications I’d be a zoned out zombie? I didn’t know but I knew I needed help, desperately.
Thankfully my therapist was, and still is, amazing. She honed in on my core issues and gave wonderful suggestions and they helped! Things were getting better for a while anyway, until Covid-19 made its nasty self known to the world. From a weekly in-person session we had to go down to only one telehealth appointment a month. It just wasn’t enough. I was still struggling, still feeling like I was drowning, and I started doing my own research on things that could help me.
I’ve always been more of a natural/alternative minded person so that’s where I looked first for ideas. Meditation and yoga helped somewhat but they weren’t fully effective since you can’t dive into a pose or a meditation while your baby is refusing to sleep and crying. Scrolling social media one day as he napped I came across a simple piece of art on Instagram showing crystals and crystal therapy for PPD (postpartum depression) and it was like a lightbulb going off.
I began searching Google and various websites, reading and comparing and yes — purchasing, crystals and books both. I made a small pouch with crystals for grounding (to keep myself present), calming (obviously), love (for myself and my baby) and protection (against depression) and began to carry it in my pocket every day, putting it on my bedside stand at night. Specifically I chose hematite, rhodonite, rose quartz and black tourmaline as my crystals for the pouch.
After about a week and a half of this process I realized I hadn’t lost my temper in several days. I hadn’t screamed out of sheer overwhelming frustration then sobbed hysterically because the loud sound made my baby cry. I was starting to feel like I could keep myself together and do things for fun again, and like maybe (just maybe) I could be a good mom. It’s been a few months and I don’t yell anymore. I don’t feel like a boiling volcano about to erupt, and my therapist isn’t gently suggesting medications anymore. She lauded my improvements! I chalk it up to continuing my therapy appointments AND taking the initiative to add crystal healing to my treatments.
I know you may be on the fence or think crystals are a little too “woo woo” or “out there”. Please, just try anyway. If you’re suffering crystal healing could be helpful and you should look into it. It has saved my sanity and my relationship with my son. The most you may lose is a few bucks on the crystals themselves and I promise you that’s better than losing days and weeks to postpartum mood issues. See a therapist, get some crystals, use them and start feeling better for yourself and your baby.
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