My name is Jessica and I work in education. I support deaf, blind and differently-abled pupils. Through my work, I have witnessed these students overcome difficult obstacles and achieve their dreams despite their disabilities. I am in awe of those who view challenges as an opportunity to grow. I have always looked up to those who spiritedly pursue their goals.
In my personal life, I have not felt this confident. When I turned forty, I realised I was worth more than my limiting beliefs. Maybe now it was my chance to shine, just like my students had shown me.
I grew up being the shy one. When I went to university I finally blossomed. I became more extroverted and oozed confidence. I discovered new people, new ideas and new ways of being. The whole world had opened up and I was born again. However, this positive mindset didn’t last. After leaving university, and moving back to my hometown, my past insecurities and low confidence reappeared. In fact, my self worth plummeted and I was plagued by anxieties.
At first this manifested as spending more time alone, not turning up to social events. This progressively worsened as I embarked on a period of self destructive behaviour. This included drinking excessively, and risk taking behaviour that left me in hospital on a number of occasions. Moreover, this self-destructive pattern culminated in a mental breakdown that left me bereft of friends and distant from my family. I felt utterly alone.
In my despair, I turned to traditional medicine for some answers. Doctors prescribed pills, but I refused to take them. Further, I believed they would take away my true self. Similar paranoid thoughts continued to assault me. I felt stuck in an alternate reality. Forever misunderstood. Navigating the depths of despair, I discovered a pack of tarot cards. A birthday gift gathering dust in a cupboard. Struck by the utter pointlessness of life, my existential crisis had peaked. These tarot cards might just offer some guidance as I felt I lacked a clear intuition at that point.
Shuffling the deck, I formed a question in my mind. I wanted proof the cards worked and confirmation I was on the right path. Nervously, I set out the cards as shown in the accompanying guidebook. Consequently, I slowly interpreted each card a picture formed in my mind. I visualised a betrayal and knew I would be placed in a position where my safety was compromised. In the next few days, this premonition revealed itself to be true. I was shocked. The tarot cards had prepared me but I had ignored my intuition.
This was the start of a journey I have been on ever since. The journey back to myself and trusting my own intuition. It hasn’t always been easy and I have fallen off track every now and then. One life experience in particular threw me off course dramatically.
I became involved in a relationship I knew was not good for me. I ignored the warning signs, viewing it as a learning experience. Sadly, it wasn’t pleasant. In fact, I suffered mental and emotional abuse that left me feeling small and worthless. It was like a repeat of my earlier life experience. I was obviously trapped. My friends had long since given up on me. Again, I was alone.
One night, I woke up at 3am. This is often called ‘the god hour’ as people can be struck with great teachings and intuitive advice. That was without a doubt the case for me. I had recently bought a new set of tarot cards. They seemed to reflect more of the person I wanted to become. The cards featured elegant and confident people who looked assured of their place in life. I knew that was my indeed destiny and took out the cards.
This initiated another life changing process. Working closely with the tarot cards, I accessed their teachings and aligned with my intuition. I was back home again. Over many months I used the cards to ask questions, clarify my views and discover their guidance. I took small steps. Then big leaps towards change.
Gradually, my self-confidence finally improved. I felt taller. I walked with confidence, feeling connected to life again. They gave me strength to leave my negative relationship behind. I rented my own house and gained confidence I never thought possible.
Since then, I work alongside my cards to navigate life. I make a regular practice to spend time with my cards discovering their teachings. I remain a student of tarot and an active participant in my life. With the power they have bestowed upon me, I am now a conscious creator of my own destiny.
If you are lacking direction and confidence in reaching for your goals, I highly recommend practicing the tarot. Even after all these years, there is still so much to learn. Finding a deck that you resonate with is very important. Each soul is different so find one on a similar vibrational level to you.
Tarot cards can help you access your intuition and offer encouragement and inspiration to follow your dreams. Now I feel empowered to overcome many obstacles, just like my students do. It all starts with making a commitment to yourself.
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