I’m Jamie and I’m from Wales. I’m 37. I live in Bali most of the year studying Taiji and Qi Gong full time under an amazing teacher. Living my best life. I know I’m extremely fortunate. But it nearly all went horribly wrong for me a few years ago with depression, and I dread to think where I’d be today if I had never found acupuncture.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my school days. I stood out from my classmates, displaying characteristics that might today suggest potential ADHD. However, in my time, I was simply a troublemaker in the eyes of the teachers.
After school in my late teens and early 20s, I discovered a whole new world of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Drink, drugs, promiscuity, dodgy nightclubs and sleepless weekends. Obviously, this only made matters worse. Especially because now I had to deal with the guilt of being told how I had acted during drunken black outs that could last for entire nights. This really compacted my other issues into heavy, black ball of despair and hopelessness that lived rent free in the pit of my stomach. And the daily hangovers were murder.
In my later 20s my lifelong fascination with martial arts and the esoteric lead me to a weekly Taiji and Qi Gong class in my hometown. I saw Taiji as a combination of my two fascinations and I was keen to give it a go. I knew immediately that I’d found what I was looking for. As time went by, the debauchery and associated misery of my earlier years began to diminish in frequency and intensity and was gradually replaced with my newfound passion.
Life was finally starting to go well and that ball in my stomach was feeling a bit lighter, then a few years into my training I got the opportunity to add acupuncture to my studies. I’d never had acupuncture before, or any interest in it, but it suddenly felt like the most natural thing in the world to move into this area of learning to supplement my Qi Gong practice with a deeper understanding of how the body works on an energetic level. I loved it instantly. After a decade working within the western healthcare system and having concerns with its methods and conclusions, this new (for me) way of thinking about health and disease was revolutionary.
Then, just as things were really starting to go my way, I went through a bad breakup from a relationship I had not realised had been taking a serious emotional toll on me for quite some time. Out came the “coping methods.” Back came the ball. I was a mess. My training and studies went out the window.
I had never looked for help before. I’d had friends like me who’d gone to doctors and been given harsh chemicals that sometimes helped alleviate their depression, sometimes didn’t, but always seemed to make every other aspect of their life and health ten times worse and lead to more problems. That wasn’t for me. Sometimes they’d only received medical gaslighting and I didn’t want that, either. Same result: made things worse.
But now I knew about my problems from a Chinese medicine perspective. I no longer saw depression as merely a result of a vague chemical imbalance, treated with uncertain drugs or talk therapy that often deepened trauma connections. Now I know, thanks to acupuncture, that depression comes from stagnation of the Liver Qi. Other problems will arise as this imbalance affects the other organs which in turn lead to myriad other symptoms. Depression is generally thought of as a sadness, but I think all who have experienced it will agree that there is a frustration at its centre. Frustration is the emotion that comes from deficiency in the Liver. If you can rebalance the Liver, you can kill the root of the sickness so it can’t return.
I approached a friend within the school who was already a practicing acupuncturist who kindly agreed to treat me. I saw her every two weeks. Initially, I had basic treatment called the Four Gates: one needle in each hand and foot during the first months. It frees the Liver of stagnation, so it’s the usual starting point when healing depression.
From there, we moved onto rebalancing my digestive system with points on my torso and my Heart with points on the Pericardium channels on my arms; both of which had been damaged by my malfunctioning Liver over the years. I felt a huge improvement after just a few sessions. After a few months my symptoms disappeared and I was happy and felt healthy. After a year, we were finally confident that I healed and I’ve lived my life since safe in the knowledge that nothing life throws at me will land me back were I was. It’s a profound feeling. Acupuncture really addressed the physical roots of my depression.
If the description of my dark days resonates with you, I can’t recommend acupuncture enough. Finding a skilled acupuncturist can be tricky, especially if you’re not knowledgeable. First, seek one who uses pulse diagnosis. Many don’t and you can’t treat affectively without it. Secondly, seek a professional with a minimum of three years of training. Avoid those with only weekend course certificates. Acupuncture can be a godsend for many issues, including depression, if you find someone qualified. Lastly, I want you to know that there is hope and that the world can be beautiful for you as it is for me now.
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