What I’m going to tell you about feels like another life away! As a 38-year-old Mum, my life these days revolves around family life with my husband and 3 children, mostly enjoying the simple things life has to offer. Growing up my family was small, and I longed to be part of a busy family unit. I’d describe myself as spiritually grounded, yet always evolving. I love to travel, being in nature and the community. Workwise, I’m a writer, specialising in the personal development and spiritual niche. The story I want to share is about losing my dear Brother and how mediumship helped me come to terms with my ongoing grief.
There have been many twists and turns along the way, every moment contributing to the person I am today, and the biggest happened when I was 13 years old. We received news that my younger Brother had been injured in a road traffic accident. I can still remember that moment vividly, running up to my bedroom with a photograph of him and just waiting and hoping. I look back now and wonder, in that moment, did I already know the severity of the news to come?
Within 48 hours he was gone, and I had become an only child. It was a shock to us all. We’d never been through anything like this as a family, in fact, it was to be my first experience of death. I felt numb for days, weeks even after; none of it seemed real.
In those coming months, I began to dream about him. The dreams were so real and he’d be there and I’d call out to him, waking my Mum who’d ask me if I was ok. My grief was there but I didn’t know what to do with it, or how to feel it. My relationship with my Brother was unlike a usual sibling relationship. There was no fighting or arguments, no being mean or trying to get one up on the other; he was autistic which meant that his mental age was much younger than it should have been for a 10-year-old.
We had a strong bond that is hard to remember now and which I’ve had to accept did exist, even though my memory won’t any longer allow it. I missed having someone around to play with and have fun. Life felt empty. As a young teen, I buried the grief and continued with life as best I could.
As I grew older, my Mum started to connect with spirituality. I know now she was looking to connect with him, and now I’m a Mum, I can understand how strong that desire would have been. As the years went by, my Mum would recount the stories of having connected with my brother and also her dear Grandmother, via different mediumship experiences.
I was inspired but I was scared of death and even more scared of the idea of connecting with someone who had died! I’d been through losing him once and I didn’t want to bring up all those painful memories again. But there was a niggle that wouldn’t go away; could I really connect with him again? Could mediumship really help me with my grief?
I decided that yes, I wanted to visit a medium. But I kept losing courage and putting it off. I remember phoning to cancel the first-ever appointment I’d made, letting her know I just wasn’t ready and had changed my mind. The lady I’d chosen was the same my Mum went to, who had been recommended by a family friend, who we both went to see for reflexology. I didn’t tell her we were related because I wanted to keep my mind as open as possible. I also didn’t want to wonder if she already knew everything about my story.
Eventually, I was ready and I went along to see her. Her name was June and she was a lovely older lady, her home warm and inviting. As we sat in her healing space, she put me at ease with light conversation and told me a little about how she connected with spirit. She invited me to write down anything I’d like to as the session wouldn’t be recorded. I still have that notebook to this day! After a little while, she gently closed her eyes and sat quietly, making her connection.
Sat opposite her, I waited in the silence, almost in nervous anticipation, wondering what she could be hearing or seeing. After a little while her eyes opened, her smile returned and she started to bring through messages. It might have been words that could mean something, people, places. Some I couldn’t immediately connect with, but I’ll always remember one message that simply blew me away. It was a message relating to a worry I’d had about having children of my own and whether autism ran in our family. I’d never shared this with anyone, not even my Mum. As she spoke it sent shivers down my spine; the message was just astonishing and there had been no way for her to have known. It was a great comfort to me at the time.
We were there for about 45 minutes and my notebook was filled with odd messages, names, dates, and some things to pass on to my Mum. June knew intuitively when to close the session and close herself off to spirit. Her reading that day changed everything for me. It was nothing like the spooky experience depicted in films I’d been imagining. She provided me with enough evidence for me to know in my heart that my brother was there with me.
For many years I’d go for a reading with her or another medium, for a little support or connection with spirit. It sparked my own interest and beliefs in spirituality. It also inspired me to connect with my own intuition and experiment with connecting with spirit too.
If seeing a medium has been on your mind, I’d always say follow that whisper. If you’ve never experienced mediumship before I’d recommend keeping an open mind, especially if you’re going through a grief period. I often say to people, it’s one of those things you can’t describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Mediumship has helped me to process grief and to connect with something bigger than myself for extra support when I’ve needed it.
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