As a teen, I was an avid reader of my horoscope. I deeply identified with my sign (Sagittarius, in my opinion the “coolest” sign of the zodiac) and felt that it accurately described my worldview and outlook. Like many people, I derived a great deal of pride from the qualities attributed to my sign. I was, indeed, fun-loving, radically honest, travel-obsessed, and usually pretty extroverted. But it wasn’t until my late 20s that I discovered what astrology was really about. Further, how astrology became a powerful healing tool to heal my depression and anxiety.
My late 20s were a rocky time. At age 27, I lost my job and got divorced from my first husband. Right as my marriage fell apart, I ended up having to move back in with my parents. Back then, this felt like a major setback… but actually, it was a blessing in disguise. While living at home, I ended a toxic relationship that I’d been in throughout the summer after my divorce. I also ended up meeting the man who is now my fiancee.
In many ways, I was truly happy. But underneath, I had the sense that a dark shadow was looming. I felt like my youth nearing an end. Also, knowing that I was leaving my 20s and entering into a period of real stability was terrifying. My depression worsened as I moved back out on my own, got a corporate job, and got into my “real life”. Being at my parents’ house in the country had been a welcome respite from the hectic pace of my life in the city.
As my depression grew, I began to start dissociating from my body. I wondered who I was and how I was ever going to get out of the rut I was in. I hated my corporate job, so I left it. But then I left the next job too. And then the next one. The passion I once had for my work seemed to have evaporated completely. The very thought of working left me feeling drained and trapped. I tried antidepressants. Getting help for your mental health issues is important. However, the only problem was that mainstream healthcare didn’t address one crucial aspect: spiritually, something was missing.
It was a funny thing, how I finally found astrology. During one of my lowest days, I searched the term “shadow work” on the Internet. I ended up going down a rabbit hole on YouTube, as one does, and found myself studying all manner of occult topics, including astrology. Once I learned how much there was to the subject, I became obsessed. I was thirsty for knowledge. The dispassion and depression I’d been feeling was suddenly replaced by a drive to understand myself through my birth chart.
Astrology can’t heal your depression or emotional hurdles instantly. If you don’t study it incredibly deeply, you won’t get much out of it on your own. Working with an astrologer who is intimately familiar with the planets and their placements is the best way to go. I’m a voracious reader, so I spent the first few months of my astrology journey following astrologers on Twitter, listening to reputable astrology podcasts, and reading books on the subject. In doing this, I ended up connecting with an astrologer who I knew was well-known in the astrology world. Once I found my astrologer, she was able to help me study the nitty gritty of my chart. I really enjoyed the incredibly thorough, synergistic and holistic way she interpreted it.
I recommend being diligent in searching for an astrologer. There are a lot of people out there who offer astrological readings, but haven’t actually put effort to study astrology deeply. Make sure any astrologer you work with can tell you basic information, like what school of astrology they subscribe to, what house system they use, and with whom they trained. Only a practiced astrologer can tell you what planets fall in your seventh house, and what they can signify about your hangups around love and partnership. Only someone who has really done their reading can find Pluto in your chart, and tell you what impacts it has on your experience with trauma. Even if you don’t believe in astrology, a conversation about your birth chart can help you begin to explore your own emotional wounds and unconscious biases and help overcome depression, as in my case.
For example, I have Saturn in my seventh house, the house of marriage and partnership. I was blown away to learn that my Saturn return began — that is, Saturn moved into my seventh house — right as my divorce from my first husband was finalized. I also learned that in my chart, Saturn is near Uranus, the planet of rebelliousness and instability. What this helped me understand was that if I don’t maintain freedom and autonomy in my long-term relationships, I’m likely to become depressed and burn the whole thing down. I also learned that Mars and Pluto in my sixth house of health and habits incline me toward unhealthy behaviors like overworking and addiction, but they also give me the ethic and wherewithal to overcome those tendencies. I need useful outlets for all that energy; working in an unengaging career simply didn’t give me the adrenaline I need.
All of these situations are specific to my chart, of course, but everyone has a birth chart. Everyone can benefit from deep conversations about their traumas, needs, habits, attachment style, and physical well-being. If you’re dealing with depression or anxiety, like I was, I strongly recommend seeing an astrologer who specializes in psychological astrology.
The conversations your birth chart will generate can spur you to examine the root causes of your mental health issues. Learning to embody your chart in a healthy and holistic way is essential for overcoming your fears and avoiding negative tendencies to which you are prone. Working with my chart is a daily practice, and the work is never done. Just like personal growth, depression and anxiety go through high and low periods. Turning to astrology to help me hold myself accountable for my own growth has absolutely been the key to feeling agency over my mental health and beating depression.
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