My name is William. I am a 29 year old father of three and a freelance writer. I am so grateful for everything I have and I wouldn’t have anything if it wasn’t for mindfulness, meditation, and acupuncture. But let me back track and explain how I overcame drug addiction through combining different alternative practices.
When I was in middle school, I began having anxiety. I didn’t know what it was at first, but my racing thoughts were extremely uncomfortable and distracting. A few years later, I drank a small amount of tequila. Exactly one year later, I smoked weed for the first time. Later, marijuana actually made my anxiety worse, but at the time it seemed like the perfect cure. My habits were propelled and I began experimenting with all types of drugs. The pills that I ended up trying would lead me down a spiral that I continue to battle to this day.
I still had a life separate from my addiction for years, but it increasingly worsened. I ended up needing opiates and benzodiazepines just to feel okay. What had initially reduced my anxiety gave me something that was truly worth worrying about. Addiction.
In 2009 I graduated from high school. I was regularly taking pills meant to treat pain and anxiety. Though I wasn’t taking them every day, I was already mentally addicted. I did everything I could to get high every day. I didn’t realize I had a problem. When I moved out to go to college, I didn’t have the same contacts to find drugs. Sure, I occasionally found pills. However, I typically could only find weed which didn’t satisfy my cravings for harder, more dangerous narcotics.
During the Spring semester of my freshman year, I got a DUI. I had drank myself into a stupor and made the stupid decision to drive. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened, but I was ashamed. But not ashamed enough to change my ways. Less than a year later while I was home for Christmas break, I was unfortunate enough to find someone who sold heroin (although I felt fortunate at the time). I used it daily until I went back to college. I only snorted it at this time, and told myself I didn’t need to inject.
When I got back to school, I had very minor withdrawals. The worst for me, though, was the intense cravings. My anxiety made the cravings for heroin even worse and I could barely think about anything else. My mind revolved around the fix. I had no idea where to find heroin. In fact, I didn’t know anybody in the area who had ever even tried it. But I had an idea. I researched where to locate heroin in the larger city nearby. It was actually quite easy to find the neighborhood where most of the drug use was.
So I decided to go find some with the $40 I had. The first person I saw in the area that the internet gave me became my target. I gathered my courage, pulled up next to him, and asked if he knew where to get heroin. He had some. I drove him about a half mile to his house. He went in, got the dope and came out. He gave me a syringe with the heroin. So I used it. This single injection led to an injection every day. I spent thousands of dollars on heroin during the next year. My cravings and anxiety were so bad anytime I didn’t have it. The physical withdrawals were bad, but the mental aspects were worse.
At this time, I was on probation for my DUI and randomly drug tested. My addiction was so bad that I couldn’t help but use the day before I had to see my probation officer. And I was drug tested and failed. I was ordered to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings. NA and AA are fantastic for some people and even though it wasn’t for me, it did indirectly lead me to the alternative medicine that saved me – meditation and acupuncture. These alternative practices are not the first go-to for people suffering from drug addiction, but as you’ll see later, I decided to look into it further.
Before a meeting one day, a fellow addict told me how much meditation had helped him. In addition, he told me about an acupuncture clinic that performed ear acupuncture. He said it helped him relax and be mindful. I decided to give it a try. I researched meditation and mindfulness and with a head full of knowledge and a heart full of hope I gave it a try. As soon as the needles were placed into my ears, I felt a wave of relaxation. For the next hour I focused on my breathing and train of thoughts.
Finally, I was able to be mindful enough to eliminate negative thoughts. I could see where my anxiety was coming from. I could identify my trigger and the reasons I wanted to use. So I made it part of my weekly routine to go into the clinic to have an hour of ear acupuncture. As time went on, I slowly transitioned away from ear acupuncture and began to meditate without it. The acupuncture helped me meditate when I otherwise couldn’t have. The meditation helped me take my life back from the drugs that had kidnapped it.
Sometimes it can be hard to meditate, especially if you haven’t done it before. But it does get easier. At first, it can be hard to eliminate the chatter and be truly mindful. Just give it time and don’t worry about doing it correctly. There isn’t only one way to meditate. Everybody does it differently and the only way to find out if it is right for you is to try it out.
Meditation worked for my addiction because my own thoughts and feelings were the fuel. Talking with others can be supportive, but it didn’t help me get to the root of my problems. Meditation helped me confront the demons and positively alter my perceptions. These alternative, non-conventional practices can be powerful weapons to overcome drug addiction.
Addiction is a life-long struggle, and I still regularly meditate to reduce anxiety and cravings. I know my triggers and try to avoid them, but that is not always possible. When cravings start to creep into my brain, I go to a quiet room and give myself 20 to 30 minutes to refocus and find my true inner peace. I can now easily transition into a mindful state where I am calm. It took time to get here, but I know that no matter where I am I can use meditation to reflect and be the man I want to be.
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