I’m Maria, and I’m thirty-seven years old. I live in Rhode Island, where I work as a freelance writer. I first became interested in hypnosis while researching the topic for my novel for my MFA program. This was during the covid lockdown – I was in the grip of my program and under a lot of stress. I met a fellow writer who happened to be a hypnotist who answered my questions but also showed me how hypnosis could help me deal with stress and find new levels of creativity during a time when it was hard to be creative. Initially, it was a fun hobby, and I hadn’t fully appreciated the benefits of hypnosis until I got Guillain Barre syndrome.
In March 2022, I began having strange numbness in my lower back and butt. Pins and needles traveled down my legs, and I lost the sensation of touch. The symptoms grew worse over the next few weeks. Numbness now traveled down everywhere below my waist and down to my feet. On April 1st, my chiropractor immediately sent me to the emergency room. While I could walk, I had no feeling in my legs—like my legs had fallen asleep. After several tests, the doctors concluded that I had Guillain-Barré Syndrome, an illness where the body attacks its nervous system. I soon began IVIG treatments, and that was where I began seeing the benefits of hypnosis.
I was monitored closely to ensure my automatic nervous system was not afflicted. Since it was a teaching hospital, teams of student doctors came in to talk, asking the same questions, all wanting to study this rare autoimmune sickness. It was hard to sleep. Hard not to feel afraid and alone, but through self-hypnosis and short guided sessions with my hypnotist, I could calm myself down and zone out for the few moments between being checked by nurses. It helped deal with the nauseating side effects of the treatment, where I could convince my mind to ignore the pain, the fright that might not feel my legs the same again, and stay positive and hopeful. After a week, I was able to go home.
I was wildly fortunate it didn’t spread further, but I didn’t leave unscathed. While I could maintain my mobility, I had no feeling or sensation. I couldn’t walk without a cane or go anywhere by myself. I could no longer drive. Honestly, I was devastated. I went from regularly walking 15k steps daily and working out to barely moving. I felt trapped inside my apartment. It was a shock to my morale and my mental health. I was prescribed gabapentin for the nerve pain and physical therapy to relearn how to walk without feeling. There wasn’t much else but to give it time.
Hypnosis gave me a way to manage stress and anxiety, letting my body rest and recover. Trance is a great feeling. It’s a type of mental lightness. You’re aware but also not, like being aware that you are dreaming. Hypnosis became my medicine to cope with Guillain Barre. Self-hypnosis calmed my anxieties, helping me focus on what I could do. As my nerves began healing and I pushed myself in physical therapy, my hypnotist gave me “suggestions” and “triggers” to help redirect my focus away from the neuropathy and wild pins and needles.
My hypnotist reminded me that my brain knows what it feels like, that my muscles still remember even if I can’t communicate with them. I could focus on how my quads should feel when tensed or how certain fabrics should feel against my skin. Through gentle suggestions, I could regain control of my mind at least.
It also had intimate benefits. I couldn’t feel anything below the waist, which meant I couldn’t feel any sort of sexual intimacy. This was emotionally difficult and put stress on my personal relationship. Through hypnosis, I learned to have more “mental” releases. The emotional and mental benefit of learning how to orgasm was one of the wildest experiences of my life and has done great things for my sexual well-being.
It has its challenges, though. It’s not magic, and not everyone has the same type of suggestibility. It can take time to be a good subject and build rapport with a hypnotist you trust. It’s hard to let go of the chatter in our heads. Similar to meditation, it’s something you train yourself with. Hypnosis has changed my life in many ways, and while I am still dealing with the symptoms of Guillain Barre and nerve pain, it’s made it much more tolerable and manageable without additional prescriptions. There is hypnosis for all sorts of things, but I find it most helpful for anxiety, sleep, and relaxation, and I think everyone should try it.
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